Dear absentee,
Thank you for gracing me with an automated response giving me the
awesome news that you are on holiday/sabbatical/raising your
offspring/have left the company. I would like to reassure you that the
experience was in no way diminished by the receipt of 23 similar
messages from other people in reply to the same email.
I’d like to suggest some additional things that you might want to add
to your away message next time you jet off to the Algarve/have a long
posh-sounding holiday/get knocked up/resign/get sacked.
- If this automated away message raises any tickets in your
ticketing system, then please close them. Then you might want to
consider spending a fruitless time trying to work out how to
filter out away messages from every email system currently known
to man.
- If this away message happens to cause a mail loop, you might want
to fix it before it generates, say, 500 emails.
- There’s every chance, of course, that I am actually in the office
and have forgotten to unset my away message. In which case, please
feel free to ignore this message.
- If it’s that bloody important, please phone.